Monday, February 15, 2010

Terror in the Alley!

The sun was setting and no milk was to be found in the fridge (expired or otherwise). I knew in the morning the always growing offspring, (pretty big 14 and 11 year old cuties already) would want to oversoak their breakfast cereal in it. After only being begged 5 or 6 times 1st born Leo finally gave in to being seen with his father for the 4 block walk to 7-11. I like the young man's company and Leo likes the promise of getting a Slurpee for his troubles. About half way there listening to Leo describe the brand new 360 X cube video game box system sumsuch or other I kicked something. It didn't seem like a can or other trash you'd expect littering an alley, but something fleshy and alive. In fact, it squeaked! I looked down to lock red eyes with a foot long rat giving me one hell of a dirty look. He broke off the stare down and sauntered across the alley under a dumpster. Instantly I grabbed onto Leo's shoulders and screeched, "EEEWWWWWWWW!" Then I started doing an odd "icky" dance where you prance on your toes, arch your wrists, spread out your fingers and make a face as if you just ate a dozen lemon slices. Leo was equally disgusted, but with me. "Dad, you're acting just like a ..." I finished his sentence, "... a girl!" (keep in mind, this is the stereotype of a girl we're talkin' about. I fully realize most any gal is much tougher than I am). I started thinking, "What if he had run up my pant leg?!" and the dance became more frenzied. Then I noticed Leo's sandals and thought "What if I had been wearing those and flesh had met fur?!!!" Suddenly I was the winner on Dance Fever. If there was a sundress outlet nearby I would have been obligated to purchase one, "Something in a floral please!". The big yellow rat warning signs are posted every dozen feet in Chicago's alley's, but that was my first up close and personal. Now I'm ever vigilant. Thick rubber band secure my pants to my ankles (even in bed) and milk is only purchased via automobile at the brightly lit supermarket. I still can't even look at sandals without a chill going down my spine!

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