Sunday, December 9, 2018

Flea Market Finds 2018! The Top 250 Weird, Wild and Wacky Hidden Treasures!

Every Sunday morning during Flea Market season, Aiden and I wake up at 5am and zip off to Wolff’s, the giant flea market in the parking lot of Allstate Arena. It’s the kinda shopping I like full of boxes of who know what and carloads of vintage odds ’n ends. My 4 year old is on the hunt for Hot Wheels, and since I have too much crap already, I mostly enjoy the ‘catch and release’ fun of snapping photos. But sometime I will discover something so awesomely odd, that I can’t help but take it home with me!
Afterwards, we zip down the street to Ihop so Aiden can line up his Hot Wheel purchases for the waitresses to gush over while serving his weekly happy face pancake!
So, presented here for you, are some of the highlights of those early mornings, saving you the trouble of getting out of your warm beds before the crack of dawn.
And for the 2017 finds-

How can you NOT take home the trophy for 'Most Drunk Bowler'?
Soon to be hanging in the kitchen!
My new hood ornament!

And along with my new hood ornament...
Nice Beaver!

My entire wardrobe!
That's how lettering looks after too many.

Now adding a touch of class to the bathroom!
Seeing this and a cup of coffee wakes you right up in the morning!
All kids love 'Mr. Drunk Bunny"!

The parade of 'Hair-Don't's"
Better than your public library!

Still better than your public library! 

Sex Club or Circus? You decide!
I want to go there!
Now THAT'S entertainment!
For the ladies!
Who says all clowns are scary?!
Now at my front door,
I don't know what's happening, and I'm not going to ask.

Kid's love the classics!
Phrase that pays.
Now nailed to my front door. If I ever get a dog we know what it's name will be!

Sadly, too large for Aiden and too small for me.

I expected to see Jack Nicholson.

I'm inclined to purchase any rock or nut with google eyes.
Nice beaver!
I'll be making that same joke frequently.

Most Beautiful Lamp contestant!

What you see is what you get!

Call DC Comics! I'm ready to start drawing Batman!
I'm not sure what the butt model is selling.

String Art + Clowns = Magic!

Some humor is timeless!

I just called from the outhouse to say 'I Love You!"
I'll never understand the music kids are into nowadays!

Everyone needs a 5' clown poster (even if they have no place to hang it)!
The Clown eating lion is always my favorite part of the circus!

Is it just me?
Torn from today's headlines!

Before HBO.
That pretty much sums up comedy!

Don't even THINK about it!
Construction workers never change!

How I store purchases.
Miss Beautiful Lamp contestant!

It's for a TUBA!
You and your sick mind!
Sold as a matching set, couch, plates and paintings.

The 80s.

You don't want to know.

Was tempted to put it in front of my house, but for $500, it wasn't quite worth the joke.
Go Bears!

For all your decorating moods.

Artists! I'll never understand them!
Trying to give me more of a 'tough guy' in my decorating.

Where garage sales go to die.

FASTER! We haven't got all day!

And I thought all flea market purchases were returnable within 30 days!

Kids love Mr. Beer Bear!

I look 20 years younger!
Another Miss Beautiful Lamp contestant!
Raggedy Ann Chainsaw Massacre,

The lady chair.

This sums up the 70s.

My Matt Pimpernel collection is now complete!

A Burt Reynolds clown tribute!

Limber up before shopping!

Ignore the facial 2nd degree burns, your hair looks great!

Make serving dinner 100 times more fun!

Now on my bar.
I could not be more manly!

Some humor is timeless.

How could I NOT buy this?

I keep it in the bedroom
I also keep it in the bedroom.
Some humor is timeless!

No need to make your own scrapbook- it's already done!

A car option you might not have heard of.

The flea market choir!
I had something else in mind.

The 80s.
The obvious book.

He's up to something!

Raising kids requires help.

Home collage fun!

This'll look GREAT in the living room!

I buy ANYTHING Mickey promotes!

I'm in Heaven!

Lots of horses and dresses.

Getting all crafty with it!

On their final Flea Market tour!

How this kid ever fell asleep, I'll never know.
An actual Charles Schultz original (I think)!

For my 'middle aged men peeing' collection.
Aiden gets all the knit beer can hats we find!

The clown's conquests.

Another M.O'C cover classic!

Crime scene photos.
Censored for your protection.
A whole 18 wheeler full of Velveeta.
I don't feel so good.

One of those days.

My own art in the wild!
Chimps on toilets. How could you NOT purchase this?!

A bank. Now I have 8 of them.

Who says clowns are scary?
Not what I was thinking.

If this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, nothing will!

Who says clowns are scary (part 2)?

If I had higher ceilings....

3 pages torn from a magazine. What better investment can you make?!
Now my art will be presented with the respect it deserves!

What clowns do after the circus closes.
Has this ever happened to you?

Best outfit of the day!

Snack break!

All the news that's fit to print!

I buy these for myself.

For all your mood swings.

Your music sounds GREAT!
And this game is FANTASTIC!
Elmo just couldn't take it.

I'll be starting my own carnival.

For $10 release your inner Shaft!

For all my important calls.

The flea market is for lovers!

Having IRS problems? They'll never find you now!

I first tried to take a selfie, but was told to put my clothes back on and get off the merchandise.

My next dream car.
To go with your "Anal Warts" game.