Thursday, May 30, 2013

Newest Home Improvement? My Own Mermaid Stocked Pond!

Thank you Modern Mechanics for the behind the scenes instructions 
on how to construct my very own Mermaid Theatre!
I hope to have it up by our wedding reception so all my friends can writhe in jealousy.
Good times!
btw- what do mermaids eat?

The Enchanted World of Rankin/Bass!

Enjoy this picture of me pretending to read pal Rick Goldschmidts newest Rankin/Bass book while I was actually concentrating on making sure I'm flexing my left arm. Rick just surprised me with a copy in the mail yesterday, and I strongly suspect that the writing, designing and publishing of this huge amazing colorful hardcover, culminating with giving one, was all a ploy to guilt me into returning the favor with a free copy of "Mitch O'Connell, the World's Best Artist."
Keep dreaming sucker!
Check it out at-

Sid and Marty Kroft, the Kings of Puppet Porno!

Sid and Marty Kroft, creators of such wholesome beloved '70s family fare as Land of the Lost, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, Lidsville, The Bugaloos and H.R. Pufnstuf started out the XXX way with a stage show of 3' tall puppets making the love in front of an appreciative Adults Only audience. If you think mannequin merrymaking started with "Team America: World Police," visionaries Sid and Marty hit that 40 before!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Oysters- The New Comic Book Sensation!

I have to confess, I haven't read every bit of "Otto, The Outcast Oyster," but it just looks so much like a fever dream (or an oyster high on cough syrup) that I just had to share. I forget what '50s funny book I cut this out of, so I don't have any background research to help solve the Where, What, Why of how this came to be, so just sit back and enjoy (aka "scratch your head").

btw- if you love odd (aka "amazing') comics, check out-

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Megan Besmirched, Big-Eyed Art Master!

I commissioned art superstar (and pal) Megan Besmirched to do a surprise portrait of my fiance. Needless to say (I'm going to say it anyhow) Alyson LOVED it!
If you would like to brighten up your home, or brighten the day of a loved one (or just brighten up yourself), check out her many websites (I cut and pasted from Facebook) for stunning original art, prints, jewelery and free witty postings!




National "Make A Friend Day"!

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Sears Niche Marketing.

It's hard to imagine this scenerio flying over the heads of Mr. and Mrs. 60s Middle America as they purused pj shopping in the pages of the family Sears Catalog. I've been around this Earth for over 50 years and I have yet to have a similar intimate conversation clad in my nightwear while having a penis candle waved in my face.
But I'm still young- I'll let you know!

There HAS to be a less contorted way to reach for a book.

Romanticials- by Mitch!

A series of helpful tips for the gentleman, and those with the desire to be gentleman.
How to show your love to the world AND show your lady that she's special?
Matching plaid pantsuits!
Fellers, are you slapping you
r foreheads right now thinking, "Duh! It was SO OBVIOUS!"
Happy to help!
Now quickly guys, get your gal in the car and dash off toward Sears!
She, "Where the hell are we going at 7:30am on a Saturday morning you f**king idiot?!!"
You, "You'll see Sweetums, you'll see (turn to camera and wink)!"

Friday, May 24, 2013

Mitch O'Connell- A Man of Fashion!

I knit my dolls and myself matching outfits. In the morning I line them all up in a row to decide what I'll be wearing. I find it very helpful AND relaxing. Look for me in this comfortable, yet snappy, ensemble today!

For all the haters making fun of me knitting my own outfits-
maybe this true story of the first time my fiance set eyes on me will set you straight-
Alyson, "Wow! You look so sexy in that outfit!"
Mitch, "Why, thank you!"
Alyson, "DO ME!!"

Case closed!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Fit For A King!

One of my dining room chairs has passed away.
I've decided to replace it with seating more befitting my stature. I would have taken the "Test Yourself" throne from Wisconsin's tourist location The House On The Rock, but it's obviously broken having lit up on "Dud." If anyone sees anything similar sitting in the alley, just let me know, and I'll dash over for it.
There's a $10 finders fee in it for you!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Friday, May 10, 2013

Holy Penis Envy!

It seems EVERYONE is concerned about how they measure up.
It doesn't matter though, no matter WHAT the size,
your dick is STILL too short to mess with Him!

"On Your Knees, Girls!" The Housewife Workout!

The Ladies Home Journal (circa 1950) has some helpful hints for the womenfolk
that are as  relevant now as they were 63 years ago!