Tuesday, July 1, 2014

DIY- Build Your Own Spooky Creepy Baby Doll Bird House!

"Spooky" and "Creepy" were just used to get your attention- I think of it more like bewitching kitsch on par with the classic pink flamingos.
It's a surprisingly easy family project that'll liven up the backyard, became a BBQ party conversation piece and, of course, sure to please the birds!
The only downside is that the neighbors might be inclined to alert CPS.
A) Find a big plastic doll. This was purchased at Village Thrift for $20.
B) Get 2 metal posts at Home Depot for a buck or two each.
C) Cut out two 1.5" holes on either side of the head.
D) Drill a small hole for a rod for the birds to perch on under the feeding holes, and a hole in the crotch for the long rod.
E) Fill the head with bird feed.
F) Stick in the ground.
D) Prepare to be known as the coolest family on the block!

PS- The backyard was a Day of the Triffids-like horror of waist high growths of who-knows-what sprouting every second no matter how much I weeded. Some of the larger ones I'd try to cut down only to see sinewy Invasion of the Body Snatchers half-formed pink sinewy muscle mass inside the stalks that would send a queasy shiver up my spine (yes, I just used two b-movie analogies in a row). My dreams were filled with visions of them sprouting feet, walking into the house and strangling me in my sleep. Finally I wised up and hired professionals to take every plant/weed/whatever out of the yard and replace it with plain 'ol apple pie brand new green grass. Now, instead of planting things, we'd have a lush green canvas to decorate.
That post in the middle once held a giant wooden whirly-gig that the Chicago winters killed. It's been vacant for a decade. In the past, I had a little art project where I'd pick up flea market plastic dolls and have my tree climbing son scurry up the neighborhood maples and oaks and nail them in the highest limbs, thus producing Tree Babies (just part of my unfunded City Beautification Program).
Well, I came across a big bag of forgotten unused toy dolls, Leo had outgrown the climbing, so Kieran suggested we put them all on the post. Now the trick when driving nails into dolls to decorate, is to give the finished results the right title when you name it. The obvious. "All Hail Satan" would send the wrong message, so we went with "The Good Luck Pole." Leo, when seeing our creation, grimaced and shook his head. "I don't think you should be doing that." chastised the art critic. He helpfully took the edge off by coming up with the doll riding pink flamingos.
This is what we've done in a month.
I can only imagine how wild it's going to look in 10 years.

PPS- As for the inside of the house…

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