Demolition Derby! Man's Greatest Sport!

Demolition derby!
Thrills! Chills! Spills!
Truly the greatest sport ever invented! It takes place at the State Fair grandstand, truly the greatest location! You can load up with curly fries, hot dogs, cotton candy and beer, truly the greatest food! You get to watch metal being smashed, sparks fly and flames spurt, and it's not your car, truly the greatest thrill! 
These all American individuals, doing it completely for the love of the game, deck out their well loved vehicles, held together by last second welding, just dried paint, hastily applied wire and a dab of spit, rev up, push down on the gas,  and put on a joyfully loud, bright and brash gladiator show for a cheering crowd.
The kids have spent every summer in tow catching the festivities after playing all the carnival games of chance and going on all the vomit inducing rides. As the sun gets low on the horizon, we pick the best seats, pass the fries back and forth and wait for the fun to begin.
I've gone to baseball, football, soccer games and Nascar, where athletes are making millions and you might have to pay $1000s for prime seats.
They don't compare to the enjoyment you get from America's real pastime, Demolition Derby!

Now if I could take this one step further...

I have a dream!
A fantasy of mine (among many) is putting together an Art Car/Demolition Derby happening (see below for Art Car examples). I envision recruiting a bunch of derby drivers and their cars who arrive first thing in the morning at the fairgrounds. An artist (or artists) have each been assigned one car. They've been free to prefabricate anything they felt like beforehand, or just get to work from scratch. The groups spend the whole day pimping their vehicle up in the coolest ways. That evening they're smashed 'n crashed to bits!
It seems so perfect in every way.
If someone out there wants to help me carry my vision to fruition, let me know. I envision a beautiful coffee table book to commemorate the event. With my name above the title.
And you would get an acknowledgment somewhere in there.
Probably way in the back. :-)

And- as my gift to you,

Get your very own FREE 11 by 17" M.O'C Demolition Derby poster

for the Heart of Illinois Fair!

Just click on the link, download the file, and print yerself up one!

https://www.hightail.com/download/bXBaM25GUnIyWGR2Zk1UQw

 

PLUS!

If you're putting on your own show, here's the link to download the file to another 11 by 17" poster, this time with the black space to add your specific time/date/location!

https://www.hightail.com/download/bXBaM25JNHZrUmxWeHNUQw

Six of a million varations of what an "art car" can be!

A Very Special Evening …with Heart!

I spent an amount of money too embarrassing to divulge for the VIP treatment at the recent Grand Victoria Casino Heart concert.
The Mrs. loves Heart, so I fall under the category of "Very Wonderful Husband."
First let me point out that everyone at the show was VERY nice, and I'm fully aware that I am the only one responsible for putting myself in the club of sad people who have to pay to have their picture taken with a celebrity.
For humor's sake, I would quote extensively from the small print of the release form I had to sign about the many things we were sternly warned not to do, but among those things I signed off on, was the threat of legal action if I repeated anything about the specifics of the waiver.
So forget I ever said anything about it.
As part of the VIP package we were first given the thrill of shopping at the Heart merchandise tent, them it was off to the Heart VIP party tent. I was happy with the provided 2 drink tickets each, and did enjoy the tasty snack selection. In case you wondered, hippie tapestry, LED candles, inspirational poetry by the honey mustard packets and the chance to write your innermost thoughts in the "Notes to Ann and Nancy" journal is what a Heart VIP Party Tent is.
Many there were genuinely thrilled by all this, and I was genuinely happy that they were happy.
Then it was time to get in line for our very own photo with Ann and Nancy. Even though I paid full price for two photo opps, we couldn't do one of just Alyson (since this was all for her) and then one together. We only had the option of one each, or one together, so I went for two.
As we all put out our arms to be sprayed down with disinfectant (really) it was explained that we would get our promised pre-signed posters right after the photo was snapped (no, you can't have them inscribed), then we were to exit the area immediately.
The quite lovely Wilson sisters left a space in-between their two chairs for the fans to squat down and say cheese as the one photo would be taken (don't blink!).
I'd write "Would it kill you to stick another chair at the table for the VIP's?" but nary a Heart Suggestion Box could be found.
No chance for eye contact or small talk (at least in my case) was part of the VIP experience. I did blurt out "Act excited!" to the ladies as I hunkered down, but that didn't get them to utter a word or turn even a quarter inch in my direction (which I can't fault them for).
When my 4 seconds of fame by association ended, I was quickly lead outside the fenced in area with only fond memories of my brief tenure being a VIP.
In summation, I'm sure they have many well thought out reasons for all these rules, and I'm also assuming that Ann and Nancy are wonderfully nice people. It's also just great that a VIP package is an option for their most ardent fans. It's also fine with me that Heart was able to clear an extra $10,000 before the show (just a wild guess).
I'm just passing along a slice-of-life experience!
Oh, and the payoff?
Alyson does a sizzlingly nasty bump-and-grind during Barracuda.
The best things in life are free!

Before there was Caitlin Jenner, you won't believe the Superstars that underwent a Sex Change!

Leave it to Larry Flynt to come up with
the most nostalgically tacky memorabilia of the 70s!
If you ever thought Charles Bronson as Charlene Bronson
would look good over the mantlepiece,
all you needed to do was clip out the form in Hustler or Chic,
write out a check, and then wait by your mailbox for 6-8 weeks.
Are these eerie predictions of changes to come?
Only time will tell!