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Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Driving Do's and Don'ts!
When driving back from the Nucleus Gallery book signing to the Safari Hotel I observed to Alyson that, "Boy, everyone sure drives fast!" Maybe I was slower than everyone else because I was staring at the GPS and trying to look at the road at the same time, or maybe it was just because I'm elderly, but when I got on the freeway, I made sure to gun it to keep up. It seems the first person to appreciate my effort to fit in with Los Angeles drivers started flashing revolving lights on top of his black and white vehicle to show approval.
"Pull Over!" said a voice that seemed to come over the radio. "TO YOUR RIGHT!" it helpfully yelled. Over and Over.
After leaving the highway I had a discussion with the officer about drinking. I mentioned a beer and glass of champagne that I had indulged in during the evening.
Now the last time I had been pulled over it was because of an illegal left turn I had made at 10am in Chicago. When the policeman asked why I thought I was being ticketed I responded "Was it because of that elderly woman I just hit?" That joke didn't really go over then, and I didn't think any attempt to "break the ice" was proper in this situation.
I followed the penlight with just my eyes, leaned my head back and guessed how long 30 seconds was until I announced "Done!," and took 9 heel to toe steps forward and back again, all the while thinking "car impounded + $10,000 fine + lawyer + jail + insurance = I better not f**k this up."
And I passed (sweat was wiped from my brow at this point).