Saturday, August 4, 2012

Sex in Comics! The top 100 strangest, suggestive and steamy vintage comic book panels of all time!

Brought to you by the new, and equally sexy, book, "The World's Best Artist"!

http://www.amazon.com/Mitch-OConnell-Worlds-Best-Artist/dp/0867197730





I started with almost 100, but soon there'll be 1000 (depending on how much I want to avoid actual work)! Some are cheap shots, like using the words "gay," "dick," and "boner" when they originally meant something much different, or panels taken completely out of context for juvenile schoolyard tittering, and sometimes, actually very weird, completely IN context, takes on the relationship between the sexes from the viewpoints of the  comic books writers and artists of '40s, 50s, 60s and 70s!


You've probably have already seen a few that have been floating around the internet for years, and many are first appearing here scanned from my bathroom library reading, but you'll have 'em all gathered in one place, the M.O'C Blog, for your prurient viewing pleasure!

PLUS! If you liked this blog- go to Sex In Comics Part 2- featuring comic book COVERS! 

Perry White goes hunting with Dick Cheney.


They do this and they're "Superheroes."
I do it and I'm a "Nut"!





Phone sex worker frustrations.















Jimmy "Super Penis" Olsen!




A "Dating Don't"
aka
"Anytime I run across a comic panel with drippy
white goo splatted on someone, I'm going to find it funny"!






The mighty "Anus-Horn"!




He who smelt it, delt it!








This is mainly here for historical purposes as the
ORIGINAL Batman panel that has been re-captioned a million times.
Of course this find might only be interesting
to the kinda guy that has a blog only about comic panels!


Sexual harassment in the workplace!

Sometimes even Superman needs help getting lucky on a first date.


Before all you feminists start burning your bras in protest,
this is NOT art that objectifies women!
It actually IS a story about a talking left breast.

I like it better that I only have this panel and have NO idea what the hey is going on.







"Dating Don't"!

Brought to you by the new, and equally sexy, book,
"The World's Best Artist"!

http://www.amazon.com/Mitch-OConnell-Worlds-Best-Artist/dp/0867197730


"Coming and Going" that is.




My neighbors often complain about the noise.



Batman has a one track mind.




Endless "Dating Don'ts!














Brought to you by the new, and equally sexy, book, "The World's Best Artist"!http://www.amazon.com/Mitch-OConnell-Worlds-Best-Artist/dp/0867197730




When one panel has the words "Boners," "Dick," and "Come" in it,
you know it HAS to be included!














Thought I'd add one non-gay Batman and Robin panel to balance things out.



Did I mention that tyhis blog is bought to you by the new,
and equally sexy, book,
"The World's Best Artist"?!
http://www.amazon.com/Mitch-OConnell-Worlds-Best-Artist/dp/0867197730

The Green Arrow and Speedy deal with their developing bodies.
Or- as I've been told after it begins to grow…and Grow…AND GROW, "It's like a nightmare!"

I think those one of those staged tests to see your reaction.
Do you call the police or just mind your own business?

Good advice! Kids, ALWAYS tell your parents!




Rode hard and put away wet.






I usually just turn up the TV.

Superman is used to carrying Lois around.





"Sploosh" can only describe one thing.




Another "Dating Don't"






I think Superboy found an even more sensitive part of the body to punch.


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Jo-Jo knows!



Jimmy is a little tease!












Archie comics love the erection sound effect of "BOING"
and I'm going to post every single one of 'em!













Endless "Dating Don'ts"!
Brought to you by the brand new best book of all time
...all about ME!
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Back to the womb (part 1).

Back to the womb (part 2).




Superboy deals with IBS.



When robots fall in love.







Cheap Ad Placement!
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It's like being hit with a big red baseball bat.



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Impress your friends with a cool Mitch screensaver-
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Cheap Ad Placement!
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Dating Don't 1
Dating Don't 2
Dating Don't #3

Dating Don't #4



OK! Not EVERYTHING is about sex.
I can't help but throw in a few that are just too nutty to resist!

Why is it so hard for females just to do as they're told?




Ready! Set! ...











Cheap ad placement!
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The greatest comic panel in the history of comic art!
DC Comics of the 50s and 60s usually seemed to be inspired by

LSD fever dreams, but the complete disregard for anything based
on reality gets my thumb up!
How "Superman" doesn't notice a 
dangling human behind him,
and how Jimmy got the beard caught in
his pals pants in the first place …it's amazing!






Maybe you'll find the joke funnier if I rub your other breast?
Dating Don't #7





Nurse: "Mitchell, you're suffering from exhaustion! If you don't slow down with your hilarious postings, you'll kill yourself!"
Mitch: "But I must make people happy, even if it does mean a personal sacrifice!"
Nurse: "Isn't it time you thought of yourself for a change?

Please, make love to me!"
Mitch: "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M POSTING?!"
Dating DO!
As long as you yell "MINE!" first your object

of affection is stuck with you.
It's the rule!

Dating DO's!
Always take your date bowling.
Always act pissed when acknowledging a compliment.
Always bring up that you have a rumpus room.

Dating DO!
If you don't want to lose Dick,

always act impressed when he mentions
he has a Rumpus Room.


Must maintain my erection!
If I become flaccid- we're doomed!


Dating Don't #8


I think this might be symbolic of something.
I'll do some research and get back to you!
Jimmy Olsen was warned not to get into mischief-
but he's going to do it anyway!

More for the "just plain odd" file.
Please no, "I'd like a little head" jokes!
This is a CLASSY blog!


Dating Don't #9!


I'm trying to figure out what "MMMFBMM!"
would mean if her lips weren't muffled.


Not strictly a comic panel, but a hint that more folks
than just myself were finding a few naughty
and exciting things hidden away in these funny books!
Even clowns need lovin'!








Clark Kent, "Doctor, it's hurts when I pee  …molten lava!"
Doctor, "Don't pee molten lava!"







Superman, HELP! Jimmy is trapped in the well!
Superman, HELP! The orphanage is on fire!
Superman, HELP! Nuclear war has been declared!
Sorry! Superman is busy.
It's sexist to think that only the gals are great cooks!



Women are more than just lovely, they're also talented!

This seems to be a fine time to mention
www.mitchoconnell.com again.
So much fun, fun, fun   …for everyone!


If I were to break out the dance moves at a party,
I'd expect similar comments.


It's called The Sweet Talk Express.
Ladies, get on board!



Dating Don't #10!

Dating Don't #11!



Only DC Comics of the '60s would have
a horse and Supergirl get hot 'n heavy!




Cheap ad placement!
I even have a line of very fasionable M.O'C shoes coming out!

Really!
Feel free to fill up your closet with 'em!

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Dating Don't #12!

A footnote about many of the "Dating Don't" series (which this is #13).
Archie Comics went through a craze in the '70's
where every other joke was "semen" related.
The company was sold in 1982 and the new Christian owners

thought that type of "humor" was in quite bad taste.
Hence, not one of these stories have 
EVER been reprinted and back issues were destroyed, making these funny book hi-jinks almost impossible to track down!
JK!





Dating Don't #14!

A gentleman always makes some type of announcement beforehand.

Bing Bang BOOM!
Chug-a-chug-a TOOT-TOOT (train sounds)!
Hello Mitch O'Connell Jr!
X MARKS THE SPOT!

OBOY!
Bob Saget!

AND THAT’S THE NAME O’ THAT TUNE!
Charge!
THAT’S A WRAP!

























Pew Pew Pew (laser shooting sounds)!
Photon Torpedoes ....FIRE!
BANG! ZOOM (Jackie Gleason)!
I Done Dood it!
POP GOES THE WEASEL!
Oh Butterfingers!
DAH-DUM, DAH-DUM,…DUM DUM DUM DUM…(music from ‘JAWS’ )!
Class Dismissed!
THE CHECK’S IN THE MAIL!
Do Over!
Fire in the Hole!
YAY!
Going, going, GONE!
Knock-knock! Who's there? I'm. I'm who? I'm ...
KA-CHING!
Take THAT!
Oh no you di int!
and
Whoops!



Dating Don't #15!

Back when IBS was considered a superpower.


Helpful Hint of the Day!


To avoid this situation, I now just wave at my male friends.

When Superheroes team up...


Even I am shocked at how risque those old Archie comics were!
The good 'ol days!

Funny "ha-ha"?

Who likes carrots?!!
Dating don't #15!





















Dating Don't #16!



Dating Don't #17!














Dating Don't #18!


Dating Don't # 19!










Dating Don't #20!



Speaking of sexy comics, make sure to order my new book today!
Just follow the link to see a sneak peek 'n read all about it!

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31 comments:

  1. Hilarious! I never knew that Batman & Robin shared the same bed and enjoyed nude sunlamp-tanning together. I think this removes any ambiguity from the "Ambiguously Gay Duo".

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  2. I can't stop laughing. Especially at the Jughead and Archie ones with them getting massive boners when their girlfriends pass by.

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  3. You forgot the most classic Archie of all time... beating off 4 guys.

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  4. "...who went for any kind of men -- except dead ones!"

    Picky, picky, picky.

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  5. I've never laughed so much reading a tweet

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  6. Many more to follow! Check back every week! :-)

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  7. FANTASTIC selection! It's like the Louvre of unintentional comics humour! Thanks, please keep them coming (oops)

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  8. That was AWESOME! LO...F'in L!!! I used to read Archie and Superman and Batman. Wow, am I a 46 yo geek or what>? The Batman boner references were... uh..hard to beat? (phrasing) Thank you for the trip down memory lane, and for killing 10 minutes of my work productivity (13 if you include this post) Keep it up (not a boner ref:)

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  9. Loved this! It really made my morning. :D

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  10. This is fantastic! Keep em coming!.... (especially the dating do's and dont's).

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  11. Batman and Robin share the same bed?? Good grief, Dr. Wertham was right....

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  12. I actually own several of these comics. Remember when Jimmy Olsen almost married a hillbilly? Superman was also fond of the line "Papa spank!" And you've barely managed to scratch the surface of the enigma that is Lois Lane. Or Archie, for that matter. Remember that time the wall turned ito a giant vagina and swallowed him up? Or when he had to beat off three guys, as mentioned above?

    Great list, Mitch. Yer one of the good ones, kid. Can't wait to see more. Ya got my vote.

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  13. sure ... un point de vue
    ha ha ha ha ha from france

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  14. You missed another great Archie cover panel. Archie and Betty are in a sporting goods store. Archie tells Betty, "I'll bet this frisbee FLIPS OUT Veronica on her birthday!"

    Betty responds, "It sure will, Archie. She's expecting a PEARL NECKLACE!"

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  15. Don't worry! Working on a blog of just wacky comic covers!

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  16. Do you have the complete collection of Vintage Spoon? You can find it all here!

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  17. Awensome, simplemente genial. Saludos!

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  18. This was, without doubt, hilarious. Had me in stitches.

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  19. Thanks for taking the time to do this. Great fun.

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  20. Okay. I think I've seen enough. It's hilarious though; not to be sexist.

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  21. all right, i've been trying to find it for a few hours. What's the two girls in bed and Miss Klatch one from?

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  22. I haven't cried like this in years (from laughing). thanks.

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  23. Just for the hey of it, I will be posting free tattoo designs
    at the new "mitchoconnellart" on Instagram.
    And scantily clad cheerleaders.
    And kittens riding hot air balloons.
    And whatever else it takes to get 1,000,000 followers!

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  24. Put these in a coffee table book and im sold!

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  25. Man, those kill me. Did you leave out the classic "I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!" or did i just miss it?

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