Self Improvement!

I'm working on a little physical self improvement.
"Whoa there Mitch", you justifiably gasp. "The words 'improve' and 'Mitch" make no sense in the same sentence!"
(nodding seriously) Obviously you're right 'lil buddy. Maybe I have a touch of what those Victoria Secret models have when they worry there're too fat when they hit 80 pounds. I know it's ridiculous, but let's see if I can take this 10 to a 12! Yes, it's true I act all indignant and huffy when the ladies pinch me on the ass whenever I bend over to pick up my wrench or saw. I go through my speech about how I'm a real person with real feelings, not just a big juicy hunk of grade A 100% USDA approved beefy man meat... but we all know I secretly love it!