No, it's not a photo from a recent african safari, although a yack or three could definitely be hiding in the yard high growths. This is my back yard.
I don't know what those plants are, but they frighten me. I expect them to start walking anyday now and poke me awake in the night. The unearthly leaves brushing against my face, the roots wrapping around my throat, tightening... tightening.... AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE! They already grab and clutch at you when trying to traverse the inch left of the walkway.
Is there a "Backyard Makeover" TV show that anyone knows of? An aspiring gardener that would love the prestigious feather in their cap working on a celebrities property? Wha...?! Pay you?! Ah, how naively sweet! Do you know what an artist makes? Just the cost of berets and smocks is staggering! Wouldn't mind an 18 foot high Easter Island statue with a waterfall falling from his mouth into a pond of koi fish, but leave plenty of room for the go-cart racetrack (for starters).
Or I just blow it up.
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