"Thank you Merlin for my new winter coat!"
"My old coat has holes in it, but Merlin gave me a coat that will keep me warm in the cold!"
"Thanks to Merlin Muffler and Brake I won't die of exposure on my way to 4th grade!"
Over a groundswell of inspirational music little child actors were voicing platitudes pretty similar to these on a radio commercial Leo and I listened to on the way to his school. You could almost hear the Merlin mascott's arms breaking as he furiously patted himself on the back.
But still... that's great! Merlin is buying clothing for children! It's a 'lil nauseating that they spent probably more on the "Snug Hugs for Kids" ad campaign than they did on the garments, but, hey, they're still doin' sumpthin', right?
Hold On! Merlin is just setting up "collection boxes" at all their locations so YOU can bring THEM a coat.
Wow! It's genius! Get everyone to find out where their shops are located and then actually drive there! "As long as I have my car here it couldn't hurt to have it checked out, they seem like wonderful people!"
But at least their employees must do something to help? Right?
No. They're "seeking young people to volunteer and assist in the collection of new and like-new winter clothing" according to the website.
It's obviously important children are dressed properly, but I already have 3 Salvation Army drop boxes within spitting distance. I know of many charities that will come right to your house to pick up donations and dozens and dozens of organizations/churches/etc. you can bring the items to.
The hubris and hutzpah in this completely transparent doubletalkin' film flam makes me want to vomit!
All right, you know me better than that!
It makes me want to vomit 'cause I didn't think of it first!
I just stuck a big cardboard moving box on the porch.
"Thank you Mitch O'Connell! The coat you gave me will keep my little body alive for another year!"
Cue music!
