Goodbye duct-taped Pasatt Wagon- we hardly knew ye!
While shopping for our new (to us) car, after being barely able to move (that's why we were shopping), the Pasatt starting driving with more vigor than ever. Obviously it was pleading, "Look, I'm still a great car, don't replace me! I love you! Don't you love me?!", but it was too late, we were too deep into buying our 2001 Lexus. And once we parked our new purchase right behind the Pasatt, the wagon pretty much said, "If that's the way it's gonna be, fuck it!" and never started again.
The kids and I decided to pick a charity to donate it to. "Kars for Kids" was my first choice, only because every time I went by their billboard I'd indignantly exclaim, "I don't think kids should drive!" and then I'd laugh for everyone in the car. But, as far as I could figure out, that charity just sends already healthy kids to camp. That's all great, but I was thinking of helping out UNhealthy children. That'll sound a lot better when I'm telling women at bars about my altruistic work (while flexing). So, we decided on Lamb's Farm, a community for folks with learning disabilities. What'll they do with the $35 value of my vehicle? I don't know, but I damn well better get a personal thank-you card from every single one of those ungrateful brats.
Don't spend it all at once!