Thursday, November 10, 2011

Let Us Toast La Luz de Jesus!

Just out from La Luz de Jesus Gallery in conjunction with their anniversary shows!
Included in this majestic tome (well I haven't seen the actual book, but the plan was to have it in there) is a 'lil essay by your humble Facebook friend…

Years back, Billy Shire was kind enough to make an appearance at a gallery show I had in Chicago. I think the expert job I did washing his limousine (while he wa
s inside with a red Sharpie, helpfully circling what he called "Areas for Improvement" on all my paintings) really made a positive impression on the Godfather of contemporary art. As he was leaving, his driver took a Mark Ryden drawing out of the trunk, curled it into a tube, set it afire and handed it to Mr. Shire, who used it to light his cigar. Between puffs, he asked, "How'd you like to move up to the big La Luz de Jesus?"

Gosh! Would I!

Months later, I shipped off my art for the opening. When I arrived, I couldn't find my work on the wall in back. Billy laughed, "Son, you walked right on by 'em!" The paintings were in aisle 23, second shelf down, between the Whoopie cushions and the Japanese bondage comics. "A prime location," Billy informed me. He must have been right, 'cause all the art sold. Now, I don't understand the financial aspects of the art world all that well, but Billy was nice enough to carefully explain that with all those fees, like unpacking the art, nails to hang the canvases, broccoli, cheese, and dip at the opening, his new outfit and TV cable bill, etc., that I actually owed him $11,098. Oh my! Luckily, I only need to wash that limo for seven more years until we're even.

"Mitch, you missed a spot!"

I'll be right there, Mr. Shire!

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